Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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