I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
