The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
