I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
