Fine. I'll sleep in my office
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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