i just wanna soil my oats bro
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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