The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
