Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize