Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
