She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
