MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
