I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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