She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize