My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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