in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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