I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
