you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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