what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
