I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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