are you so shy because you have an std?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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