I'm so fucking centered right now
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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