found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just googled if crying burns calories
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
