his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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