tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
