Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
