Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
