awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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