Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
