Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
