I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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