I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
What drink are we having for lunch?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Randomize
