Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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