how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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