She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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