I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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