And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
