the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
