I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
