hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
