The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
