Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
