are you so shy because you have an std?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
