I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
we should paint friendship bongs
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
