I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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