He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
