I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Randomize
