After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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