Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
