so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
