So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
