In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm like, not good at living.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
