Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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