yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
