what day is it and did you see me today?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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