i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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