I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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