So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I love having hate sex.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
