All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
