lets start a swedish sibling band together
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize