"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
