OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
