I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
