And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
