its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
