Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You're so nebulous sometimes
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize