so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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