Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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